Pauline J. Grabia

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I am a Sparrow

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If you’re reading this post, you have probably landed on the first page of my website or blog and noticed the images of sparrows. It’s a running motif. Maybe you’ve asked, “What’s with the birds?” If you have, this post is for you. If you haven’t, I’d still like to explain the significance of the sparrow to you. You see, I am a sparrow.

Why do I call myself a sparrow? Well, it stems from two sources that have spoken to me. The first is from God’s word. In the Bible, the sparrow often represents the love of God for his creation. Jesus referred to sparrows in the book of Luke, chapter twelve. Jesus told the people who gathered to listen to him that God would care and provide for our needs. He used the sparrow as an example of how God cares for a creature as seemingly insignificant as the tiny, ubiquitous bird.

Jesus said, “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6,7) We are compared to sparrows in that we are to remain humble before God and place our faith in His care for us while being reminded that we are worth so much more to God than the sparrow. As a believer in Jesus Christ who tries to have faith in God’s care and provision, I count myself among His ‘sparrows’ in this sense.

The second source is a hymn based on Biblical references to the sparrow. It is called “His Eye Is on The Sparrow,” written by Charles Hutchinson Gabriel (composer) and Civilla D. Martin (lyricist). I have childhood memories of attending church with my mother, grandmother, and little sister and singing this hymn in the worship service. It made my heart soar with hope during a very dark time.

“Why should I feel discouraged/

Why should the shadows come?

Why should my heart feel lonely/

And long for heaven and home?

When Jesus is my portion/

A constant friend is He.

His eye is on the sparrow/

And I know He watches me.

His eye is on the sparrow/

And I know He watches me.

I sing because I’m happy.

I sing because I’m free.

His eye is on the sparrow/

And I know He watches me.”

 

Calling myself a sparrow is my way of expressing my faith in God and reminding myself that no matter what trials and tribulations may befall me, my Savior, Jesus Christ, is always watching over and caring for me. I am never alone with Him.

I would like to share with you how I became a sparrow or, in other words, a child of God. My experience of coming to place my faith in Jesus isn’t as dramatic as some. I didn’t convert from a life of crime, drug addiction, or anything. I first learned of Jesus from attending Sunday School as a young child. My mother and father didn’t attend any church, but my mom did send my sister and me to her mother’s church on a school bus that the church sent around to pick up children to transport them to Sunday School and then back home again. I thank God for that vital ministry. If not for that, I might have spent many years longer not knowing that there was a God who loved me.

When I was three weeks shy of my eighth birthday, my father died from lung cancer. After that happened, my mother started attending church with my grandmother, taking my sister and me with her. She enrolled us in Sunday School, children’s church, and Wednesday night clubs like Pioneer Girls and Wee College. Again, these wonderful children’s ministries further showed me who Jesus is and his sacrificial love for me. I grew to understand that I was a sinner—someone who disobeyed God’s will as outlined in the Bible—and I needed a savior to pay the penalty for my sins. God sent His own Son, Jesus, to take that penalty by dying on the cross in my place. All I had to do to be forgiven was place my faith in Jesus and live for Him. That base knowledge led me to place my faith in Christ at the Billy Graham Crusade that came to Edmonton, Alberta, when I was eight.

Once again, I attended the crusade with Mom and Grandma. When Billy gave the altar call and the choir sang “Just as I Am,” I knew I had to go down and give my heart to Jesus. I had childlike faith and understanding. I prayed the Sinner’s prayer that night. That was the beginning of my new life in Christ. Jesus takes us where we’re at, young or old, and grows us from there.

The older I got, however, the more rebellious my heart became toward God. My family went through a great deal of financial hardship. I suffered physical and sexual abuse at the hands of people I should have been able to trust. That created a hardness in my heart for many years. But He didn’t let go of me. When his sparrows fly astray, He brings them back to the nest. In high school, I made new friends from the same youth group at a Baptist church in my city. I began attending their Youth group Bible studies and activities and morning services at their church. I recommitted my heart to Jesus, this time with a much fuller understanding of what it meant to be saved by faith and not by works. I was baptized, and following high school, I went to North American Bible College (NABC) for two years before attending the University of Alberta.

There have been many trials and hardships throughout my childhood and to the present day. But through every trial, Jesus has been with me and has got me through the “valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23). Like a twitter-brained sparrow, I often forget how faithful God has been in the past and begin to grow depressed and anxious about my current situation and the future ahead of me. However, the hymn I quoted above, and the Scriptures remind me that I am not alone. My Savior’s eye is always on me, watching over me, protecting me.

You are not alone either. Perhaps you fear the present or the future. You don’t know how you’re going to make it through. You don’t have to do so alone. Jesus is there for me and wants to be there for you, too. There is hope in placing your faith in Him. He came and died in your place to pay the price for your sins, then rose again and now sits at His Father’s right hand in heaven. He is in complete control and can walk you through your dark valleys. You can rest in His grace and mercy. Jesus never promised life would be easy. Sparrows often must hunt hard for food and shelter. But God always provides it. He promises to help us through our toils and trials. He uses them to build our perseverance, character, and hope (see Romans 5:3-4).

So, the next time you see a sparrow, remember God’s love for you and His desire to love, protect and care for you. If you have questions about knowing Christ and placing your faith in Him, please contact me in the comments. Thank you so much for reading and supporting this blog. Please subscribe to my newsletter so I can keep you updated on what is coming up in the future. Also, please check out my other posts below, and share this blog with your friends and family. May God bless you richly!

Pauline

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